21st
November
2008
MANAGER (five-and-ten-cent store)—”What did the lady who just went out want?”
SHOPGIRL—"She inquired if we had a shoe department."
tags: Doctor Jokes, doctor joke, Funny joke, birthday wish, joke birthday jokes, birthday greeting joke, Tongue Twisters, birthday text, Redneck Jokes, One Line Jokes
posted in Women Jokes |
1st
July
2008
I’m sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can’t take messages either. In fact, it can’t even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message.
tags: arab jokes, blonde joke, birthday text, Friendship joke, brithday joke, Hooker Jokes, Sports Jokes, Kids Jokes, army joke, Bumper Stickers
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
tags: Doctor Jokes, Love Jokes, friendship joke, arab jokes, Sports Jokes, birthday wish, Funny joke, Gay Jokes, Birthday joke, sms joke
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
If you are calling for John, press 1. If you are calling for Steve, press 1. If you are calling for John OR Steve, press 1. If you are calling for someone else, press 1. If…
tags: Little Johnny Jokes, sms joke, Funny joke, doctor joke, Hooker Jokes, Golf Jokes, Funny Jokes, birthday wish, Fart Jokes, Love Jokes
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
OK, one more time… This is our answering machine… This is the message on our answering machine… Any questions?
tags: Sports Jokes, wife joke, birthday love txt, friendship joke, Funny Jokes, Stupid Jokes, birthday wish, Little Johnny Jokes, Birthday joke, cute joke
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
Hello, we are all currently home, but someone stole our phone… And the recording tape from this answering machine. So you can’t reach us until we either find a phone or get a tape. If you had to waste a quarter on this call… Sorry.
tags: Hindi Urdu joke, Funny Jokes, Sports Jokes, Friendship joke, Dirty Sex Jokes, birthday text, Naughty Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Bar Jokes, birthday love txt
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
Yo. I ain’t here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I’ll get back… (Sniff, sniff…) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good.
tags: happy birthday message, Kids Jokes, Fart Jokes, Friendship joke, arab jokes, Love Jokes, birthday greeting joke, Funny Jokes, doctor joke, animal joke
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
You have reached 555-5555. Please hold while I process your call. (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers. None of our staff is authorized to speak with you except for Fred, who is not here right now. Please leave your name phone number and a brief message at the tone. Thank you for calling and have a nice day.
tags: wife joke, arab jokes, Kids Jokes, birthday wish, Tongue Twisters, blonde joke, birthday greeting joke, Golf Jokes, love joke, Love joke
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
I am gathering the world’s largest collection of responses to an answering machine. If you would like to help, please leave a notarized copy of your name, number, and today’s date at the sound of the beep. When I’m famous I’ll remember all the little people like you that helped me achieve my greatness. I might even include you in my memoirs.
tags: animal joke, free funny birthday joke, Sick Jokes, Funny Jokes, Hindi Urdu joke, birthday text, urdu birthday joke, wife joke, Flirt joke, Dirty Sex Jokes
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |
1st
July
2008
Thank you for calling Uncle Tom’s Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab ’em and we slab ’em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we’ll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.
tags: Funny Jokes, School Jokes, joke birthday jokes, Sports Jokes, Fart Jokes, doctor joke, Funny Pictures, Old Age Jokes, Golf Jokes, blonde joke
posted in Funny Answering Machine Messages |