Lovely Joke

What’s grosser than gross?

When you dream about eating pudding, and you wake up with a spoon in your ass.

Why are they having so much trouble finding a cure for AIDS?

- The scientists can’t get the little mice to butt fuck.

Jack Splat could eat no fat his
wife could eat no lean so jack
ignored her flabby tits and
licked her asshole clean

The more you run over a dead cat the flatter it gets.

What’s blue and sings alone?

- Dan Ackroyd.

John and Bill went on their annual camping and hunting trip.

John spent the first night drinking beer and talking about how many deer he
hoped to shoot.

The next morning they got up early, John wasn’t feeling good, so Bill went
off hunting without him.

John was so hung over that when he went to take a dump, he fell asleep
sitting there on the log.

Bill got a deer early and camme back to find John sleeping. As a joke he
gutted the deer, put the insides under John, and left without waking him.

An hour later John wondered back into camp, his face white as a sheet.

“What’s wrong?” asked Bill.

“I drank so much last night I shit my guts out,” said John, “But by the
grace of God and a greasy stick, I got them all back in!”

Two gay men were having sex when the phone rang and the first guy said, “Hold
on I’m going to answer the phone. While I’m gone don’t masturbate.”

About five minutes later the first guy returned and saw white stuff
all over the wall and said, “I told you not to masturbate.”

The guy in the
bed said “I didn’t masturbate, I farted.”

Why do Blondes insist on guys wearing condoms?

So they’ll have a doggie bag for later.

Whats blue and doesn’t fit any more?

- A dead epileptic.

I’m not a pheasant plucker,
I’m a pheasant pluckers son.
And I’m only plucking pleasants
’till the pheasant plucker comes.