Lovely Joke

Parking Meter
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car’s owner rushed out of a nearby building.
"What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter.
"There’s plenty of time left!

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Police House Calls
My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up
a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the problem was quickly
resolved.
On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century
home and reached for what I thought was the front door.
Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when I heard my
partner say…. "If you have any more problems, we’ll be in your closet

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A salesman gave it up to become a policeman…
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.
“Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.

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Organized Crime
No matter how much the government fights it, organized crime just seems to get
more organized every day. The police pulled in a Mob kingpin recently and reminded
him he had the right to make a phone call.
“Just fax the arrest report to my lawyer,” the mobster said calmly

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Please come out and give yourself up.
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up.

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Cross Examination
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room

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55
Policeman: "When I saw you coming around the corner, I said to myself, `fifty-five at least.’"
Woman driver: "Well, you are a long way off! It’s this hat that makes me look so old!

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Red and blue lights
Judi was sitting at the defendant table while the state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness stand.
The lawyer asked, “When you stopped Judi, were your red and blue lights flashing?”
“Yes, sir, they were.”
“Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?”
“Yes, sir, she did.”
“And,” looking at Judi, "what was it she said?”
“She said, ‘What disco am I at?’

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Emergency Call
Dad’s pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him–lights flashing. Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call. Within seconds, came the police officer’s hand in response, dangling a pair of handcuffs out the window.

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Foiled carjacking
An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her lungs that she "knows how to use it and will shoot if required…. so get out of MY car!"
The 4 men didn’t wait around for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.
Small problem: Her key wouldn’t fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down.
She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly, white woman…… No charges were filed

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