Lovely Joke

These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We’ll have to come back here tomorrow!"

The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"

The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We’ll just look for this X
tomorrow."

The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we’ll get the same boat?"

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A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.
One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz

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A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, ma fren, I ain’t got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim ’round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home."
"That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!"
The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It’s de truth ma’ fren. I’ll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I’ve GOT to see this!"
The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the Cajun
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
Folks in Louisiana may not be as smart as some, but they aren’t as dumb as most.

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Q: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
A: They don’t really have to catch anything to be happy.

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A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat.
He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"
"That’s my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."
"Wow! Does that really work?"
"You bet it does."
"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I’ll give you $30 for it."
"Well, okay."
After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"
"You’re the sixth," he said.

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It’s the late 1980’s, and this technician’s boss at a nonprofit agency has a brainstorm.
"He wanted to provide a menu-driven telephone system that would let local boaters and fishermen call in for information on river levels," says the tech.
His further comments: "I was invited to a lunch with the local phone company to discuss it. Being new to the project, I started by asking what percentage of the targeted rural population had touch-tone phone service … a must-have for menu-driven phone systems. As I remember, the chicken salad was delicious and the project was never discussed again."

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Wife after returning from fishing trip with husband to neighbor: "I did everything all wrong again today — I talked too much and too loud. I used the wrong bait. I reeled in too soon and I caught more than he did."

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While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "Ain’t been any for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the shore. As he got closer to shore he shouted to the guy again "What did you do to get rid of the gators?"
"We didn’t do nothin’," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got ’em all."

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Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other.
Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing I’ve seen since I was a boy."
Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don’t I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?"
Ole laughed, "You goofy brother of mine…What if we don’t rent the same boat next time.

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The Minnesota Fish and Game Comission wanted to develop a fish that
would offer more for their sportsmen so they crossed a Coho with a
Walleye and called it a Kowal. It grew to a nice size and reproduced well but it wouldn’t bite. They crossed the Kowal with a Muskie and called it a Kowalski but they were so stupid they had to teach them how to swim.

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