Lovely Joke

Sardarji is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies. He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!) from Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest…

First ball : Whizzes past Sardarji’s off-stump. Sardarji doesn’t move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Second ball : Goes right over the Sardarji’s bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Sardarji is again unmoved.

Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Sardarji, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Sardarji doesn’t move a muscle.

Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Sardarji again doesn’t move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts “No Ball!”

Sardarji walks up to the umpire and tells him, “So you discovered it now!You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!”

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Bobby returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father. " Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"

"No son, that’s because you are intelligent. " Bobby seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that’s because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bobby poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Gym class. All the other boys had little small 3 inch penises, mine is at least 3 or 4 times that size. Is that because I am Sardar ??" The father replies, "No son, that’s because you are 31 years old."

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A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he’s made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last
compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what’s been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I’m
sorry, I can’t do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member".

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The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
lose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,
but he had a problem.

"What’s the problem?" asked the doctor.

I’m 2400 kms from home.

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Bantasingh : I am so proud of my son. He is at medical school.

Santasingh : Whatt is he studying ?

Banta : Oh he is not studying. They r studying him !

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Santa singh goes to a shop to buy Indian flag.
The shopkeeper gives him a Indian flag.
Santa singh looks at it for a while and says something.
What does he say?
-
-
-
Do you have anyother color in this ???

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You can be sure it is a sardarji when somebody:

– Sends a fax with a stamp on it.
– Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
– Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead,
– Boards another bus in extreme hurry and upon seeing it is a 23C cut (’) service, promptly gets down thinking that
the bus route is cancelled.
– Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, “Airport left”, he turned around and went home.
– Got locked in Furniture Shop and slept on the floor.
– At the bottom of the application where it says “Sign Here” he put Sagittarius.”
– Studies for a blood test and fails.
– Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said “concentrate.”
– Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.
– Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

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An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says:
“I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer”. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
“Ok”, he says, “10 bottles”.
And the machine is silent.
The American says: “I think I can eat 15 hamburgers”.
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
“Allright, 8 hamburgers”.
And the machine’s silent.
The Sardarji says:
“I think…”,
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

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You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:
• puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
• gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
• sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
• tries to drown a fish in water.
• thinks socialism means partying.
• trips over a cordless phone.
• takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
• At the bottom of the application where it says “Sign Here” he puts
“Sagittarius.”.
• studies for a blood test and fails.
• sells the car for gas money.
• misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
• drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, “Airport left”, he turns ground and
goes home.
• gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

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Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?"

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